Learning to Sizzle Like a Modern Mom

Family having fun at grandma's kitchen table

They say you can’t go home again, but a recent ailment waylaid my mom and I needed to move back home to take care of her while she worked hard to regain her strength and health.

It’s been years since my dad passed away and at 85, my mom prides herself on still living in the home I grew up in- fighting off the trend amongst her friends to downsize and move into an apartment closer to downtown.

She even insists on going to work two days a week at our family business. Of course, it helps that her boss is my adoring brother who was born to grant her flex time.

Now, I’ve know my mother long enough, a lifetime actually, and I know she’s never going to be the Next Food Network Star.

Not exactly The Worst Cook in America, but she could easily audition for the job. We are night and day in the kitchen. She rarely strays from the few simple meals she’s felt comfortable making over the years. I, on the other hand am always looking to add to my ever-growing repertoire of delicious meals that can be easily whipped up to wow and spark conversation.

Flavor, imagination, and love are my key ingredients.

I thought my first foray as my mom’s personal chef would be a cake walk.

She demands little, her needs are very basic. It was only when I started to prepare our first dinner that I discovered her pots and pans hadn’t been replaced since she acquired them decades ago when banks still handed out toaster ovens and small appliances to entice housewives and newlyweds to open a bank account. Really, banks did this.

My mom’s kitchen cabinets are a living museum to bygone traditions.

While I understand at this stage in life my mother no longer needs to have her kitchen stocked with all the essential tools and appliances a modern mom would have, a pot or pan that didn’t dance the jitterbug when placed on a burner would have been nice.

Surprisingly, I started to take comfort in boiling water for pasta in her big aluminum 8- quart pot, the one she used to sterilize her baby bottles in…. yes, it’s that old.

I’ve seen this pot for a lifetime. It was a keeper. This one had to stay. Too many memories. After all, these days it is only used for cooking pasta and it’s hard to burn water.

The rest of pots and pans were another story. Warped bottoms, scary burn marks, chipped Teflon (a no brainer to toss), the piles were endless, one cooking appliance worse than the next. One by one I went through her drawers as she napped soundly, her snores providing a gentle rhythm for my tossing of the pans.

For several nights, I tortured myself with the pans that made the initial cut.

A wobble here, a hot spot there, and even a few don’t even think of cooking anywhere near here areas.

I was cooking in a war zone. Safety goggles and splatter proof aprons be damned.

Just as I was thinking of surrendering and putting my mom on an all raw food diet, I unearthed the secret weapon to defeating the enemy. A pile of Bed Bath and Beyond coupons! I could smell a shift in the balance of power.

The next day I made a fast break to that mecca of kitchen appliances, cookwares and more store. I picked up a skillet, a sauté pan and a nonstick pan.

herb meatballs sizzling in a saute pan with tomato sauce

Nothing too fancy, nothing too heavy for my mom to lift. That evening, I effortlessly and triumphantly made Italian Herbed Meatballs over Zucchini Noodles with Romanesco Sauce for dinner (yes, my mom has a spiralizer, after all, she is MY mom!). Victory was mine and my mom got to keep the spoils from the battle.

Of course, the leftovers were stored in her faded, but ever faithful green Tupperware. Some things are sacred.

Over the next week, I taught my mom some meal planning secrets, healthy cooking techniques and some quick and easy recipes. I filled her pantry with vibrant and healthy seasonings and spices. Her health on the mend, her cooking confidence soaring, it was time for me to head back home to my husband, kids, cats and dogs.

These days, I speak with my mom often.

Checking in has always been an integral part of our relationship, deepening our bond on a daily basis. Most nights, she proudly tells me what she made for dinner. A different spice, a new flavor, and yes, gasp, something made without following a recipe. I can see her grinning from here. At 85, my mom is learning how to sizzle with the best of them.

white fork and knife inside a purple heart

Who reigns supreme in your mom’s kitchen? Has she shared all her secrets with you or have you taught her a thing or two? Please share your cooking  hierarchy in the comments below. We all have a thing or two we could learn in the kitchen. Thanks, smiles.

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Serve it up with kickass conversations with your kids. Repeat.