Story Telling Isn’t Just for Bedtime Anymore
At a loss for words or clever conversation at the dinner table? Everyone in your family suddenly develop a hefty dose of collective amnesia for recalling the day’s activities when they sit down to eat? Worse yet, has absolutely NOTHING happened in anyone’s life from the moment they woke up to when supper miraculously appeared on the kitchen table?
For better or for worse, why are busy moms the only ones in the family experiencing life with their eyes wide open and their brain always engaged? Where has everyone else’s day gone and who keeps stealing the family’s gift of gab?
It’s time to stop suffering through another meal in silence or agonizingly trying to pull conversation out of your kids’ mouths when all they’d really rather do is show off their gaping mouth containing a big wad of partially chewed food. (Are my kids the only kids who love showing off how much food they can shove into their mouths in one bite? Stuff, chew, open, “look ma”. But I digress.). Why not lighten the meal by breaking the silence with one of Balaboosta’s Secrets? Let your colorful family legacy literally step up to the plate and serve as the main course at your next family meal.
Here are some ideas to get the conversation flowing:
Create A Family History Pop Quiz. This will really get your kids attention, an unannounced quiz, at home no less! Wait, a quiz, at HOME, this isn’t FAIR! Seriously – make it fun.
It goes something like this:
Which uncle could blow smoke out of his ears?
Which relative proudly marched in every St. Patrick’s Day Parade even though he didn’t have a drop of Irish blood in his body?
As a child, who got caught red-handed trying to steal a pack of Bazooka bubble gum from the neighborhood drug store?
Which relative has the most fun when farting?
Clearly, these questions may be particularly unique to my own quirky family. But that’s the point. Every family has their own particularly unique quirky family tales. Why not share yours with your kids? Make a list of your family’s tawdry tidbits and keep it at the ready. Add to it when the memory moves you. Life is not static. Your list will constantly be evolving. Share it often.
If your knowledge of your family’s colorful history is not that strong, now would be the perfect time to reach out to parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. Encourage them to spill the beans. Everyone loves dirt. Don’t let those precious stories fade quietly into the distant past.
Family folklore quizzes are also a great way to open up channels of communication at family gatherings such as Thanksgiving and holiday get togethers. Forget those petty holiday squabbles and awkward silences between relatives whose visits are few and far apart. Bring all those torrid tales to life! Your lives will be so much richer for having shared all those dark and wonderful secrets.
- Play “Fess It Up ”. Sometimes as moms we keep certain secrets about ourselves close to the vest fearing judgement, embarrassment or threat of eternal teasing by our loved ones. Yet, if you want your children to be open with you, sharing good times and bad, you have to be willing to share some of your blemishes as well. Again, make it fun. Here’s how:
- Print out the questions below, then add some questions of your own.
- Cut the questions into single strips and place them in a bowl.
- Pass the bowl around the dinner table letting your kids ask questions of you. Yes, they get to be the inquisitor! Empower them (remember, YOU control the questions and the answers!). As time goes on, you may want to have a bowl with parent questions for kids, sort of a tit-for-tat give and take or let the kids write their own questions for you. Of course, you have final say in whether or how you will answer those questions! After all, you may want your kids to feel empowered but when push comes to shove, you ARE the parent!
Here are some good conversation starters to get you going:
- Did you have a curfew when you were in high school? If so, what was it? Did you ever break it? Why? What were the consequences?
- Were you ever called into the principal’s office in school? Why? What happened? Were you treated fairly? Did your parents know?
- What were your bedtime when you were in elementary/middle/high school?
- At what age did you get your first car? What model was it? Who paid for it?
- Did you ever get a speeding/parking ticket?
- Did you ever win the lottery? A raffle? What was the prize?
- Did you ever get your picture in the newspaper? For what? How did that make you feel?
- What is the oddest job you ever had?
- What chores did you have to do around the house as a kid? What was your least favorite? What did you fake doing when you really didn’t?
- What pets did you have as a kid? What were their names? Who took care of them?
- Who was your first date? How old were you? What did you do/where did you go? Was there a second date?
You get the idea. Family history pop quizzes and fess it up questions are deliciously fun ways to remind your kids we’re all in this together…warts and all. Instructional life lessons can be painlessly taught if done with the appropriate sense of humor and served up as good conversational food for the soul! Feel free to help yourself to another serving.
What family folklore gets passed around your dinner table? Please share your juicy tidbits in the comments below.
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Serve it up with kickass conversations with your kids. Repeat.
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